Rather than a sleight on the repetivity of life in NZ, I did actually spend Groundhog Day there (February 1st), although I was a little lucky to make it at all. Checked my flight details the day before I flew out. Turns out I was flying out at 9am, not 9pm. I need to be more organised in 2007…
Also realised when I hit the airport that my flight had three stops, not the one stop I originally thought. London - Dubai – Brunei – Brisbane – Auckland. No alcohol on Royal Brunei airlines either. Nonetheless I felt there was an opportunity here - please be aware this is really only a story for the benefit of Ed Massey - an opportunity open to few, and even fewer capable of achieving it. Five movements, five countries, 30 hours. I had not planned for this, but pressurised at 30,000 feet my bowel quickly reaches the 88 miles an hour required to travel through time, hence making the possibility of such a feat quite achievable.
Heathrow airport toilet blocked under the pressure of a long queue. A gentleman went to use the cubicle after me – “Yeah I wouldn’t go in there if I was you, I’ve blocked the toilet”.
Dubai airport, no such pressure, good facilities, the Cosbies waved from the pool, but Theo remained, acting as lifeguard.
Brunei Airport – fell asleep, missed opportunity, definitely regretted on the airplane, as I think some of the passengers did.
Brisbane Airport – taxied down the runway and the landing gear was successfully deployed.
Auckland – completed. Albeit later than the 30 hours.
Four heroic movements, four countries, 32 hours. I felt like a modern day Phillius Fogg.
Enough crassness, it was good to catch up with those still hanging in there with New Zealand. Must say it was my most chilled out holiday, well, probably ever. I had forgotten what 8 hours sleep felt like. Thinking back I’m struggling a little to determine what I did for the three weeks. I remember doing a lot of sitting, some of it on the beach, quite a bit of drinking, and a lot of eating. I’ve developed quite the waddle now.
Road trip to the Coromandel with Paul first few days back. Climbed the Pinnacles, drove to the top of the Peninsula in the Pulsar – with a few nervous dirt-road moments - Whitianga, Cathedral Cove, etc. Excellent start.
With the stag-do slap recovery complete, the pre-nuptial agreement for the couch signed, and a magazine deal with Vanity Fair Magazine agreed, the Kimber-Sneddon marriage-bandwagon careered forward like a groomsman seeking the bodice of a bridesmaid – alcohol-fuelled and single minded – and henceforth known as the Ramsey Shuffle. Many were swept up in the moment, including a class of passing school children (very random). Special mention to Tom ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ Kimber - eliminated in the first round of voting after the first dance. I blame the small feet. Poor balance. Rumour also has it that I convinced people at our table that the Dorward baby was mine, but I only have the vaguest of recollections of this.
Top road trip the following weekend with Matt, Richie and Mark up to Mangawhai Heads. We perhaps were not going to break any course records at Mangawhai Golf Course, but drinking and humour prevailed, including repeated annoyance of the course manager with our Caddyshack approach. Set up camp at Mangawhai Heads, and male bonding ensued – sitting and drinking.
The security guard came by our tents about 11pm "Hey you guys know there's a complete fire ban in this whole area?". Response: "It's ok, the guy said it was ok.",
"Oh, ok then".
Not the most challenging arguement. Declared a most excellent weekend by all.
Not much else to report really. Probably the last trip to NZ for some time, in which time it is safe to say not much will have changed. Thankfully.
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