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National Lampoon's Gothenburg Vacation

Another Swedish Weekend |

Spent the weekend in Gothenburg, Sweden with Jimmy (Frank Le Beau), Richie (Leroy), Grant (Hank), Myself (Cougar) and (almost) Jeremy (Big Bird). Another crazy expedition.

Leroy and I up at 4am, round to Canada Water to pick up Hank, Frank, and Biggie everyone's out the door when Hank chimes in:

Hank: "Jimmy, got your passport?"

Frank: "Oh, wait.....yes"

Hank: "Jeremy? You?"

Big Bird: "Oh fooor fuuuuck's sake! Noooooo! I've forgotten it."

Jeremy pays for flights, accommodation, Swedish currency and is up at 4am and spends the weekend in London. No mockery required.

Still, the rest of us nearly didn't make it. Confusion reigned over the flight time. As we approach the gate:

"Anyone else for Gothenburg!"

"Oh yeah, us."

"Jeez guys hurry up, you guys are so late! The plane is waiting for you!"

We had become the very people we all hate so much.

Arrived in G'burg and get off the plane:

Cougar to Frank: "We need to take bets who will fall over on the ice first. My bet is on Hank, followed by me".

The house closed 5 minutes later as Hank stepped off the stairs and slipped on the first patch of ice.

Hotel was awesome. Right in the centre. Called 'First Hotel G' which I'm sure has some sort of pun relating to Grant or Garth but it's well below my usual level of wit. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Gothenburg is beautiful, outdone only by its women and perhaps it's cheese storage buildings (refer Grant's Gothenburg Tours). Note, cheese must be stored high on a hill for the best results.

Drinking and cards began at the hotel at 3.30pm and finished sometime around 4am. Went to a random flat in a random superb and took a random tram to get there. Went to a random club with some native ladies. I didn't realise until afterwards that it was wall-to-wall sausage and we had brought most of the girls with us. Leroy and I were on our guard to "Scare Dance" some of the more greasy (who would have thought a Swede could be greasy, but they can) culprits away.

It was at about this point we decided the weekend would be turned into a musical and every situation had to have a song associated with it. "Cougar and the Cougarettes" were formed. the new Diana Ross and the Supremes. I believe around 4.30am a Barbershop Quartet was formed on the street, but no one was around to appreciate it. Richie also took the "Ice Running Man" global after its debut in Canada with MARK!.

Sunday was more random still. 10 pin bowling. Good scores obtained all round. Leroy became so excited with his bowling effort that our game was held up while he did some breakdancing in the lane. Absolute gold. Those dance lessons have been paying off. I think you can imagine that I was basically doing some involuntary breakdancing on the ground rolling around laughing.

Frank, Leroy and I then went to the semi final of the Swedish ice hockey championship which was next door. I have never seen Swedish people get so excited. I thought the guy next to me was going to explode and I would be covered with Swedish meatballs.

Managed to make the plane and taxi home ok. Top weekend.

Locations Visited: Gothenburg


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