I have been teased mercilessly about my overuse of the word ´hot´ so I pledge to refrain from using it and consult the good ol thesauraus in order to extend my limited vernacular. (How´s THAT for extending it already?!)
In the early morning of the 14th of August, I arose to the sweet slumbersome sounds of Ineke´s gentle snoring. As it was early early early I wandered around the hostel for a little while (a fine hostel at that) trying to find something to amuse myself with as Kristiano and Nicky were still curled up in bed in each other´s arms.
Eventually, the others awoke in order to amuse me and make my breakfast (I hear you asking if I contribute anything to the group? The answer is yes, my good looks.) We toasted some tasty bread in the oven and ate it with Kristiano´s Vaginamite. Did you know that Vegemite can be purchased in a travel pack? An excellent idea and one to be noted for future travels.
We set off early to go white water rafting! Nicky, as to be expected, was less than comfortable with the idea and was feeling a little terrified but relaxed when we met a little boy who shared Kristian´s name and was such a little munchkin.
We met the others who we were going to be rafting with including someone who I assumed to be a little Christian boy, Stuart, (boy was I wrong) and an English couple named Wendy and Peter (Peter Pan anyone?).
I dressed in Lachie´s Scotch football socks and little shorts which, when teamed with the ugly ugly provided wetsuits, looked...sizzling.
In our introduction to white water rafting, the sleazy guide chose lucky Nicky to demonstrate how to pull someone out of the water. In order to do this, however, she was forced to kneel in front of him, at groin height, while he beamed at us as if he´s made a wonderful joke. It would have been funnier if he hadn´t made poor Nicky feel very uncomfortable.
In our boat (named Team Baños in honour of the original Team Baños - me, Kristiano, Nicky, the hot* Americans and Ineke) was us minus the hot* Americans with the addition of the good little Christian boy, Fabrice (our crazy guide) and the new training guide whom we shall refer to as TRAITOR BITCH!
We set off dandy as a warhol with the other raft leading the way. However, not more than two minutes into it, we came face to face with a big wave and WHOOSH! In a mere moment, the raft capsised!!!! I had very little idea what was happening - I was stuck under the boat and having trouble breathing! Eventually, with my gigantic muscles, I was able to lift the boat off me. Kristiano grabbed me and led me to safety. In the meantime, there has been other dramas! Stuart had floated off far out of arms length but, little lifeguard Nicky, organised an amazing rescue and he averted a brush with death! (Perhaps over-dramatising the situation somewhat)
When we all managed to get back into the boat, Nicky turned to notice that one member of our party was not there! We started to quiver, worried that something had gone seriously wrong, until we realised that traitor bitch had settled herself nicely, already with a paddle in hand, in the other boat. We yelled at her to get back to Team Baños which she eventually did reluctantly.
Stuart got her back later by pushing her in the water which she did NOT take kindly to and spent at least an hour when we got back onto land fixing her hair and eye makeup.
We were able to jump into the water and swim around in the calm bits and Fabrice took us on a wild ride the rest of the time.
Optimistically, I had thought that I wouldn´t get more than a splash of water on me so had stuffed a tissue in the front of my wetsuit incase of emergency. When I remembered it, I pulled it out in its soggy state and threw it at Kristian. The boat then got into quite a tussle with this nasty tissue until Fabrice grabbed it, blew his nose with it and then, laughing like an hysterical hyena, threatened to rub it all over us. Ew. He went too far.
Nicky enjoyed me rescuing her cos she always ended up straddling me. ;-) Ho-....I mean, feverish.
After that, we went and had lunch which was soup and then beef or chicken. Soup was good. Chicken was not.
I spoke to Stu about his job working with disabled kids and it sounded pretty wack some of the stuff he was saying.
Nicky told me all about the thesis she had written (yes, she is a doctor!) on eating disorders. Also pretty wack.
Got back to our hostel late, invited Stu for dinner of pasta, mmmmm so good. Kristian, you are my god. Stu, like the gentleman he is, brought little cakes for dinner. It was like a proper dinner party.
Nicky did some solo drinking and I went to bed in my own bed this time, instead of being shafted from the room to make way for Nicky and Kristian´s wild love affair.
*there´s no getting out of this one. They are hot. |