James's HomeBack in the Kiwi SaddleWeddings get me drunk
Back in the Kiwi Saddle
Not many stories to report over the last couple of weeks. It has rained every day since I have left the UK. The irony is so old it has almost started to rust.
Perth and Melbourne were all good, although didn't do a whole lot apart from get hammered. Great Ocean Road was really nice.
Been back in NZ for over a week now. For those that know them Matt and Emma's wedding went real well. I used the Jimmy Hadlow 'Litmus Test' to determined how pissed I was, "The level of intoxication can be
directly related to the amount red wine, or similar staining beverage, that is visible upon one's attire the following day". With a 50% coverage on
my shirt, and about a 25% coverage on some poor other guys shirt who I didn't even know, it's fair to say I was the toxic waste dump of boozed. Steveo told me the following day that I went up to him after spilling red wine all over the guys shirt and said "Steve, I'm the human paux
far", "Jim, do you mean the human faux par?", "Yeah that too."
Richie, I send your comiserations via an impromptu worm across the dancefloor. Michelle was heard to say "That's funny, but it's just not the same without Richie here". I later determine that whilst doing the worm I lost my keys. I found them behind the front counter after
having a look around while lost in the hotel and unable to find the after
party (it was just like a 7th form ball all over again!).
Night out in Auckland last night. After arriving back at Macca and Mark's flat at 4am I jumped on the fold out bed and Macca decided he would
join me minus his shirt and pants just as some random "friend" of Kathryn's walked in the room, "Right Jim, explain your way out of this one" I thought. I was boozed, sighed, and finally accepted defeat to Macca in the battle to not appear homosexual by association.
I guess this email probably hasn't made much sense to half of you, still haven't uploaded photos from Spain or Iceland unfortunately.
Off to the Sth Island tomorrow for a roadtrip. Hope you are all well.
Locations Visited: Perth, Melbourne, Auckland
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